My client is angrily in distress.
Her family is a ‘poster child’ of dysfunction, cruelty towards each other and the ‘cruel ones’ being the ones that ‘get the good stuff’ in life. What is it with this? Where is justice?
She is the one who picked up the pieces, stayed responsible, cared for the others, acted generously… and didn’t even get the ’short end of the stick’. She got injustice!
And she is angry. Makes sense to me!
I so appreciate her authenticity! She has been shot down and judged by expressing her struggles. Yet she risked voicing it again!

Then… She brought up the parable of the ‘prodigal son’. “It would have been just fine if it ended with the return of the prodigal. With his being welcomed back into the love of the Father! But nothing is fair about how the elder son was treated! The Father didn’t even take time to call the elder son from the field to the party! How is that ok in how the Father treated this son?
So what if everything the Father had was already his? What about being recognized and appreciated for how hard he had worked and how responsible he had been all these years?! What good did it do him to be so responsible?!”

I felt myself ‘jarred’ with these statements being voiced. My initial reaction was a desire to give her some answer to keep her from feeling so outraged at the Father. We are not ’suppose’ to be angry at the Loving Father! We are ’suppose’ to be humbled by the younger son’s self-righteousness.
I’m glad that I was able to keep my mouth shut!

It certainly would have done her no good. She knows all the ‘right answers’.
And if I set aside my urgency to ’set her right’, I must admit that these sentiments sneak into my own perspective. I just have not voiced it so clearly. But don’t I believe that my ‘being responsible and ‘good’ should result in my being appreciated by God as well as others? ‘Shouldn’t’ my good works get me some kind of credit?

I was able to stay connected with her in this turmoil. I was aware that my words would not only be impotent in bringing her out of her distress, but only shame her for feeling what she does. I was aware that I did not need to ’stand up in defense of God’. I was aware that her struggle was in actuality mine to some degree.
Both of us would need to hear from God!

As I soaked in the tub this evening I brought this ‘complaint’ to God. As I took myself into the position of the elder son and voiced the unfairness of being ‘taken for granted’ and unappreciated- I sensed the Father sadly say to me “Why were you out in the field working so hard? I was sad you were not here with me to know what was happening. I did not send you there or expect you to be there. I have been wanting you to be here at home with me. I HAVE BEEN MISSING YOU as much as I have been missing my other child who had run far from home. Please come be with me and enjoy the gifts of my love!”

Wow! God misses me when I am focused on being responsible and ‘good’ more than relaxing in His infinite love. His love which does not shift whether I am out ’sinning’ or ‘living responsibly’.

I have the freedom to take a break from ‘working’ and be in the Father’s love, as well as the freedom to come to the Father when I have screwed up and gotten myself into a desperate mess!
God wants me close to Him!